This whole drama could have been avoided. I totally predicted this. I’ve spoken before about how much I dislike the idea of dating websites. I don’t like that anyone could be posing as someone else. People could be photoshopping their pictures, or worse – using someone else’s identity entirely. But, as you know, I can’t stay away from drama. I had to check it out for myself. I must admit I was curious, and also falling behind on my quota for the dating challenge.
So I gave in and jumped on the bandwagon and joined an internet dating site. I obviously went for a free one, because I don’t wanna pay for that type of shit. I didn’t upload many pics; because I was kinda embarrassed to be associated with that sort of thing. Within a few hours of being on the website, I had already got hundreds of messages from potential suitors. The following day I was in my element. I was on the couch with my friend, watching Disney movies and eating junk food. I was man shopping – without getting out of my pyjamas, without doing my makeup, without even leaving my lounge! I discovered that there are actually hot guys on this website, and I was excited!
The messages got weirder and weirder. I was only writing back to about 5% of the messages I got – and I literally got hundreds. I can’t believe how many people are on these sites! It’s incredible. Some of the guys that I wasn’t writing back to were messaging me again telling me it’s rude not to write back to people that have taken the time to message me! And while I was responding to guys that I was interested in, I would get another ten messages. (This was fun at first, and then got really tiring as I couldn’t keep up).
As a side note after two days of online dating madness, I have the following advice for some guys:
- If you message a girl and she doesn’t write back, take the hint. Do not keep messaging her asking her for feedback as to why she didn’t write back. I was seriously inundated with messages, I couldn’t keep up with how fast they were coming through – I didn’t want to waste time writing back to people I was interested in. Some guys were messaging me twice before I’d even had a chance to read their messages! – That was awkward.
- As a result of the above point, I thought I’d start messaging some people back saying I wasn’t interested. Which brings me to my second piece of advice – if a girl messages you telling you that you’re too young and therefore she’s not interested – don’t try to argue with her. It’s so not cute.
- Having a picture of yourself with someone hotter than you is not a good idea. There was a few guys I wanted to message back saying “Who’s your friend?!”
- Don’t put a pic up with 8 people in it where it’s not clear which one is you.
Anyway, after sifting through the riff raft, and a bunch of back and forth messaging, I managed to get 4 numbers from guys off the site. These were the cream of the crop- the chosen ones out of hundreds of lame messages. One of the guys seemed great on paper. His profile told me he’s 6’2, athletic build, works in finance and had pics where he looked hot. After a bunch of texting and exchanging pics, I went on my first internet arranged date last night.
I knew within 5 seconds of meeting him that I didn’t want to be there. I was immediately thinking of ways to escape. I thought I’d give him a little bit of a chance and then text my friends for a rescue call. I lasted about a minute before I was like wow I need to get out of here. I’ve NEVER wanted to not be someone that badly! So after a minute of being on this date, I text my friend asking for a dramatic phone call - “Omg give me 40 minutes then get me out of here!! xx”
Before you think I’m being mean – I should start by telling you why I wasn’t interested in giving this guy a chance. For starters, although he looked like his pics, I was disappointed. He was slightly pudgier than his pics and a lot shorter than his listed height. I have a minimum height prerequisite of 6’2″ when I’m dating guys. Call me shallow, but this is because I am 5’9 and I want to be able to date a guy is still taller than me when I’m wearing heels. So this guy turns up and he’s about 5’11 and a bit pudgier than his pics.. But I thought, okay just breathe – give him a chance, he could be really cool. So I approach him and greet him, in what is just about the most awkward greeting in the history of mankind. So then we started walking to the bar we were going to – and I noticed that he had very feminine tendencies. I just really wanted to get out of there.
My friend text me a couple times throughout the date and I kinda glanced at my phone but then put it down again and pretended that I was paying attention to him and not my phone. Most of the date was me talking because I could tell that he was just awkward and didn’t really know what to say. Our personalities are such a clash because I’m very opinionated, but I don’t like it when people agree with me for just the sake of it. If someone has something to say, I love for them to speak up. But this guy was just not speaking. Anyway so when my friend called me 40 minutes later, I was like I’m so sorry – my friend’s been texting me to call her and I’ve been ignoring her.. I better answer this.
She called me crying because she’d just seen her boyfriend kissing another girl. She said that she’s all alone in her mansion and she just needed someone to come over. After some back and forth chatter about this (she really got into character for this one), I got off the phone and was like “I am so sorry, I’ve gotta go. My friend is having a crisis.” He had heard all the drama on the phone, but I could tell by the look on his face that he knew it was just a bailout call.
Date #10 = epic fail.
I text him this morning telling him that I didn’t think we’re right for each other. I’ve never really been good at straight forward turning people down, but I thought (after my last stalker incident) that it’s better to be upfront straight away. This whole experience has traumatised me, and after two whole days of internet dating it is time to put my internet dating account to rest.
RIP internet dating profile, you will not be missed.
I know I’m going to sound conceited when I say this, (but I admit I am conceited so it’s okay) – I really think I’m too hot to be on a dating website. Maybe it’s okay for some people to date a guy who has a nice display picture and doesn’t look good in real life; but that’s not good enough for me. Anyway, I have three other guys numbers from the site and my profile is now deleted. I am going to take it much slower with these guys, and maybe start with a phone call or Skype conversation before jumping straight into a first date with them!
xo xo Full Time Gangsta